A look back on 2018

2018 has been a pretty big year. I can honestly say, I am a much better person than I was 12 months ago. I’m better emotionally, mentally, my health has improved, I’ve built a number of positive habits and I’m also a dad!

I want to write this post as a way of documenting my 2018 and take a look at my wins and successes, my failures and what I’ll be carrying forward into 2019. So here it is!

Wins

I stopped worrying about what people think – I guess this one is a little cliche, but I’ve seriously stopped caring about what people think of me. I used to take things so personally, or I’d only feel like I’ve done a good job if someone validated me. I’m not quite sure why this changed for me this year, perhaps meditation helped, or writing this blog helped, or looking inwards has given me an inner confidence, or maybe it was a little bit of all three. Whatever it was, it has been a positive change.

I got over my fear of swimming in open water – Whilst it wasn’t a true fear in the way it would stop me from doing it, I’ve always been very uncomfortable swimming in open water, particularly the ocean. At odds with that fear, was the fact that I’ve always wanted to dive. So at the start of the year, I did my open water diver course. If I’m honest, it was a fairly stressful course and I didn’t really enjoy the experience of breathing underwater. The first time I went underwater, I think I hyper-ventilated. But I persisted and completed the course. A few months later I did a couple of dives off the coast of Fiji. Again it wasn’t an overly great experience, I was way out of my depth, (yeah I know), and the week leading up to the dives I was anxious. But I persisted again and did my advanced open water diver course a few weeks ago. This is where it all changed for me. I loved the advanced course, it was fun, the diving was enjoyable, one of the dives had us recovering items and tying ropes underwater, which was great fun! All I can say is, I loved the experience and I can’t wait to get back in the water again.

I re-discovered the simple joy of running –  I stumbled across Billy Yang’s excellent ultra running youtube channel late one night and it got me excited about running long distances.

I now want to be someone that runs ultra-marathons and I’m on the path to being that person. There’s something so appealing and beautiful about running ultra long distances. I’m not about to complete my first ultra any time soon, but I’m starting small. I’ve got a 25k trail race in the high country in a few months time.

Failures

I haven’t yet made a habit of getting up early – I want to become someone that wakes up early. There’s a few reasons for this. With a 1 year old daughter, my wife and I are quite time poor at the moment. Waking up early gives me the opportunity to go for a run, exercise or meditate. If I don’t do those things in the morning, than the next opportunity I have to do those things is after dinner. I sometimes get the chance to go for a run during my lunch break, but I can’t always rely on that. Getting up early consistently is something I haven’t mastered yet.

Carrying into 2019

I want to continue on the path I’m on going into 2019. A lot has happened this year and a lot of it has been good. I was in a pretty ordinary place at the start of the year, I was unhappy and I felt stuck in my unhappy situation. My situation hasn’t changed all that much, but my experience of the situation has changed dramatically. I feel like 2019 is going to be a good year.